


Living For

by GooglyMooglies



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-05
Updated: 2014-01-05
Packaged: 2018-01-07 12:14:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1119711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GooglyMooglies/pseuds/GooglyMooglies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The instant before Ymir brings the blade to her hand, somehow, Krista feels as if she knows what’s going to happen.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Living For

**Author's Note:**

> This is a dramatic retelling of chapters 40 and 41, contains spoilers.

_“You might’ve forgotten something I said to you long ago, but…”_ But Krista knows what Ymir means as she says it. How could she ever forget? It’s a memory that is inextricably linked now to her true identity, something she protects for the both of them, because she’s not ready for the weight of what Ymir keeps secret.

She’s not ready for the weight of her own name.

So she panics as she watches the other girl take a flying leap off the tower. Her fingers curl around empty air, and Ymir falls. The instant before Ymir brings the blade to her hand, somehow, she feels as if she knows what’s going to happen.

The flash of light from the transformation is blinding.

The titan form that has unfurled below them is small, for a titan. And it is  _fast_. In the blink of an eye, two other titans have the napes of their necks ripped out with the Dancing Titan’s sharp teeth.

A war rages within her. Memories from that night run through her mind, and she remembers everything that Ymir had said.

_Maybe it’s because we’re alike?_

_Rest assured… I’m here for myself_

_Promise me…_

She hears herself cry out Ymir’s name.

Then she finds herself staring down into impossibly dark eyes, her breath catching in her throat. She suddenly understands.

Her chest tightens when Ymir lets go.

Connie speaks next to her, and Krista knows without a doubt what Ymir is doing.

Her voice tears through her throat as she yells, ordering,  _forbidding_ Ymir to die for them, a faint echo of what Ymir had told her.

( _You just want people to think you’re the kind of person who would die for someone, is that is?)_

_Live for yourself!_

She never had really believed it, anyways. Ymir could be cruel, or selfish, and seemed to take pleasure out of others’ torment, but… Sometimes, Krista noticed. Noticed the way she would begrudgingly help others, making a face as if it were the biggest hardship imaginable, and then her eyes would soften as she glanced back, and something small and warm would curl in Krista’s chest as she would think  _Ah, there it is. Perhaps…_

The stone trembles beneath her feet, then jolts to one side as she whoops triumphantly.

She can’t help the way her heart stutters as Ymir is suddenly  _looming_  above them.

The voice that comes from her mouth is garbled and strange, sounds like rocks grinding together, and yet Krista  _knows_ her.

And Ymir’s hair is just as it looks – coarse and thick beneath her fingers, easy to hold on to.

The weightless feeling as the tower leans, Ymir riding it down and taking them with her, is somehow different from the sensation of flying with the gear.

They land, and breathe, and the Titans are buried, and Krista knows. Her voice is reverent as she says Ymir’s name, but as they look at each other (she’s so much  _taller_  now, as if she wasn’t before), as Krista draws breath to fulfill her promise, the stones beneath their feet shift.

Ymir (brave, selfless,  _good)_  jumps back to protect them, but it’s no good, and Krista’s stomach drops as the first titan rips apart Ymir’s jaw.

She forgets herself as she scrambles towards them, ignoring Connie’s shout.

_I have to tell you._

_I have to keep my promise_

_How can I keep my promise if—_

The titan in front of her has a blank look. Its eyes are soulless and empty ( _so strange for them to be so different, but then again, perhaps not)_. She commands it to wait, but it pays her no heed, reaching slowly.

Then there is blood splattering across her face.

Mikasa.

And the rest of them, descending onto the titans as hunters on their quarry.

As the titans fall one by one, Krista all but claws her way back to Ymir’s form. Hanji and the others help pull her out of her dissolving titan body. Krista supports her head, eyes roving over Ymir’s face, red and lined from her transformation.

She breathes. (They both do.)

Krista ( _no, not anymore)_  thinks perhaps ( _not perhaps, definitely)_  Ymir is beautiful like this, fierce and wild and powerful  even as she barely moves as Hanji attempts to stem the blood flow from her severed arm.

“Ymir,” she says.  _Please be awake, I have something to—_

And Ymir opens her eyes.

_Ah. There you are._

She’s no longer afraid.

“My name is Historia,” she says, breathless and overjoyed. What she means is _I love you._

Ymir closes her eyes, and smiles. And she knows she heard.


End file.
